deflation begets stagnation which leads to inflation
the sour is an all too familiar taste
but the sweet is knowing that i've been where you want to be
respect.
saturday evening...i'm seeing stars...oh my starry-eyed surprise
i've been a bit terse...especially the last three months or so..but i mean..no
ub40*coffee*snl(on mute)...who's living the high-life?allow me to take the crown on this one.
well last weekend's boston adventure was a good "confidence" booster. why did she have to sing along with the songs..totally ruins the moment..oh please take the dollar..you danced like a stripper.
boston is one great town. if you go to the living place near the wharf, tell lindsay pdiddy and triple-a say hello..also ask her if going to the cape was worth it? i think the homme a femme ratio there is very favourable. the place is a great spot..go there if you can for drinks..just watch out for the "uniform" dress code...i guess it really works. oh by the way how was that education of yours..i visited the u and i must admit i'd sleep with the admissions committee in order to go there too. glad to hear you're changing the world..but have you changed your underwear. stanky brewster. pay off your loans so my bonds don't default.
the monotanous nature of this summer is as unbearable as the heat..work eat study sleep. for fuck's sake captain. oh to live vicariously through re-runs of the real world paris...ain't life grand sometimes. i wish i had a trust fund; a cushy job; the ability to have summer off; no rent (oh wait i have that); norah jones' phone number; and cameras following me...i believe i too would be in the real world. in it me or are these entries becoming more confusing. i'm getting old..i complain too much. you know what's annoying as fuck..people who don't listen..you'll tell them something about you and they feel obligated to reply with something about them or switch the topic to them. i mean, seriously, if i wanted to talk about kids i would've asked. must be that liberal arts education or something.
from #2 to delete...with a big 'ol smile on my face. i think that sums it up right there.
je suis desolee. j'ai vu aller..mais..c'etais en nyc. j'espere que tu ne m'ai pas furieuse. je devrais etudie. tu comprends oui?
hello madrid i'll email on monday morning...hello sarah (in two weeks..gotta brush up on the french)...comment dit-on "finally"..mais oui..."finalement"? le protection s'il vous plait?
coulda woulda had two free tickets..shit who listens to reason nowadays. next time. damn young-ass jlo/evamendes look-a-likes..get on the plane already.
"And there's a, million voices, and there's a, million voices, to tell you, what you should be, thinking, so you better sober up, for just a second, we're seven seconds away, just as long as I stay I'll be waiting."- youssou n'dour and n.cherry from 7 seconds.
it's sunday(pm). slept way too much the last couple of days. the red room reminds me of the dance club portrayed in shallow hal. watching people attempt to get their "grooves" on is quite funny to me. not because i'm the be all end all of great dancers (i know i am, ask my ex-es), but it's the situation in which it's presented. dark, seedy club. disco/technofied justin timberlake songs coupled with a horrendous trance versions of snoop dogg's 'beautiful' and the clipse's 'when the last time'...do these factors make it preemptively 'ok' to subjectify patrons like myself and lazy to such madness. of course not. but rather than it being nauseating; funny came to mind and i told myself it was ok...so i drank more.
(9juin2003) shit that day..as i sit listening to bob marley's anthem 'no woman no cry' i recognized the date of my last blog. shit, had this been an ideal world i would've been celebrating my one-year anniversary that fucking day. oh well. can't dwell on stuff like that. it was fun but it's over. a deeper meaning...yeah.
i read 'the alchemist' by paulo coelho. it's along the same lines of 'on the road' by jack kerouac. it really changed my pov and made me wonder what my 'legend' is and what is the direction i'm following. it's a quick, but a very excellent, thought-provoking read. trust me...if you do, you'll change.
listening to portishead.
talking to shirley on aim.
do you believe in magic...la dee da dee da.
fcuk that. let's see...it's june. i'll echo the sentiments of triple-A and say that i'm feeling a bit nostalgic this month.
a year ago this month i saw a lot of changes...i said goodbye to friends, goodbye to school, goodbye to the old me, said hello to new life, new love, new future. so if i had the opportunity to go back in time and tell something to my 'old' self whatwould i say?
i'd probably advise myself to live at home right from the outset. i'd advise myself to take out a loan and use the money to travel europe and asia for two months. then fucking finally start working. i'd advise myself to save more of my fucking money. most importantly, i'd advise myself to TAKE MY TIME AND THINK THINGS THROUGH. why caps. well i wanted to stress that last part. i think that's about all i'd say. oh, i'd also say to myself to go to more concerts with detroit and sayreville. that's all.
i would love the opportunity to go back in the past and warn...er...advise myself about all the shit i've been through...instead 2003 shaped out to be one of the shittiest years ever...it still is i mean. ask me do i believe in magic? well if this can happen, well i suppose i'm a believer. a day-dream believer.
oh what decisions have i made. 1)going with my instincts 2)no man is an island but it won't hurt trying to be one over the summer 3)we live in a not so beautiful world
back to some old stuff...the top 5ive things that can consistently piss me the phuck off.
1)unwanted phone calls
2)humidity...unless it's during sex
3)highschoolkids who hang out at taco bell
4)people who umproperly applicate words (if you got that, then it applies to you)
5)impatient people..that includes me
after a year of working i've also decided that i'm most likely going to sell my soul for the $$$$. i think growing up without a whole lot makes you hungrier when you're working. you're walking blind trying to balance the ideology of keeping in true and doing right with that of taking the risks and applying your f the world, rogue cowboy way of running things. shit why leave if the money is good.
so why now can i say now that $$$$ will probably dictate my path (ie. where to go to grad school/what courses to take/who to network with) because it's fucking true. how else would you be able to pay for insurance, your expensive shoes, your expensive apartment, your expensive technologies, your expensive life. do i bring it on myself. no fucking doubt.
it's all i know after one year of working. is that a bad thing...no not necessarily...is it a good thing...on some levels yes. at least it's some sort of a fucking direction, however misguided. is it what i believe and want...ab-sa-fucking-loutely not. do i have a choice...here's a shocker, YES yes i do. bet you thought i'd say no...then that way your save the world mentality could tell you to tell me that it's going to be ok and that i can do something about it. of course i know i can do something about it. you think that you could tell me something about my life that i already didn't know. please. go eat your fortune cookies and drink your lattes. this is my life, you're just a pawn who actually chooses to read what i write. very sad i might add. the thing about these things is that its not like i'm writing real time; i can manipulate and insert and cut and choose how i want this shit to read out. just remember that.
what the hell am i writing about. ah yes i do not say that i have the answers to the quandary that is my life. no. am i willing to hear others out. no. so what am i to do? i'll answer that...hold my fortune cookie while i put this latte on the table.
drinking a bottled water, staring at the computer screen, and listening to the intro for "sex in the city"
iknowiknowbut until i'm"rescued"from the doldrums my anti-social kick, i'll get by.
finally i made some decisions.
i don't feel like writing.
the one thing i've disliked about holidays is knowing that the clock is ticking before you have to return to work or school.
that's always a bitch.
had tons of fun hanging with the boys this weekend. goldengirl (power99) + whip = a good fucking story
fivespot sucks. mlounge and tangerine sufficed...but enough with dumb birds talking about the preakness and kentucky derby. just take your shirt off...then we'll lisen to you.
by the way...that sevenandseven...was light on the seven (seagrams).
yo lazyeye...what was the name of that book again?
familiar habits are old to break sometimes. i think the "switch" to upsaid was part of a long therapeutic sojourn that i've still yet to understand and finish.
well it has been quite sometime since i've really written. thoughts..ideas..rants..raves..hopes..fears..what have you. not to say i didn't really write what i thought on the upsaid.but i think it was much more a forum for ventilation.a means to get through.the anti-dote to the bains of my existence.aka the anti-flirt. i said i'd return maybe it will. whatever. summer vacation.
so i heard my someone from my past (i won't say who) was in town this weekend. it's funny i didn't really think about her until i heard about it at dinner this evening (garlic breathe never served such a better lovepotion). i actually think she's in town for good until the fall. smith college they say. i hear she's still the same kind of person. not surprising to me; it's kind of watching a contiguous psycho-sematic pattern. you want to turn away, but you say 'what the fuck' and you keep watching. no tiny dancers in my hands. goodbye. wait. good riddance.
this summer my focus will be on a test that supposedly determines my business school fate. i believe whole-heartedly that standardized tests (e.g. sat, sat 2, gre, gmat, lsat) are a farce to education. don't give me this shit about testing my fucking aptitude or my "future" abilities to succeed in grad school. i shit on these types of tests for they deny perfectly (possibly more perfect) good students the opportunities that rich, under-worked, under-achieving, turd filled, top 1% (tax bracket), ultra conservative, flawless thinking, candidates get handed to them on a silver platter. i have to play the game. as my good friend morpheus told me..free your mind.
can't believe it's almost been a year since liberation. only to join another du, but this time a corporate du. it's been good, but not what i expected. you hear about being on the bottom of the proverbial food chain, but to participate in it first hand is all together a humbling, 'real' experience. from greed, to jealousy, to anger, to happiness, to utter boredom, to the relief, to excitement, to reflection. i've been through it since finishing my degree. work is work. i am big on the idea that your first job out of school isn't necessarily what you'll do for rest of your life (oh i hope i'm right on this), it's more of taking what is available doing what you think you 'should' be doing. i sorely wished that took a sabbatical(sic) last summer and experienced life abroad..ran with the bulls, participated in la tomatina, saw more of the world...whatever. i don't want to live in regret. there will be more opporunity (please oh please) for these things to occur. i just have to start thinking about me. i lost my focus for a minute there. but i think double down is back...why...because you always double down on eleven..like splitting aces. here comes the big fucking bear, watch out bunnies.
listened to: jackjohnson, blackstar, beck, thewhitestripes, ol' blue eyes.
reading: "when genius failed" by ???
thinking that: blogger is cool (again)
oh yeah happy valentine's day;not in my case. but hey if you had fun, good.
let's see a quick recap of the goings on since my last ramble...
hit the stripbar and 5spot on friday. it wasn't too bad. ran into andrea, nana, and ihouse friends. fun times...almost too much fun. oh yeah, lucy i did wash the pants but the glitter didn't come out. what now?
saturday was ruchi's "born naked" day. went to shampoo...on fucking goth night. that place was dead anyway. moved onto pollyesther's. fun time. diesel jeans anyone? what about chugging a kamikaze mixture from a very very cute bartender. hey it was free...so i'm not complaining.
sunday-monday. it snowed. shoveling snow is a fucking miserable experience. but it got done. in my adidas no less.
been downloading a lot of vintage songs in order to pass the times this weekend. some of the notables..."here with me", "lowrider", "morethan a feeling", "the realest". all good shit. all very poignant in "my" current events.
going to buy some pumas. that is if those fucking hackers didn't already takemyshit. it's ok she was old anyway.
time passes so slow in the winter. makes me think of that song "a long december" by counting crows or "when we dance" by sting. it's like january and february have been the longest ever for me. seems like even the good moments get cut short...for the long, drawn reminders that the world sucks sometimes.
oh well is all i can say.
-the anti-flirt.
listening to "she talks to angels" by the blackcrowes
wishing that iwassomewherespecial.
time to do the laundry.
a funny thing happened on the way to home depot...
ok i really wasn't going there but i thought i'd start off with that since the whole fucking country is off buying their duct tape and plastic.
i mentioned this today to my parents and they came at me with the "this can't be our son talking" type of look. it was quite funny to me. i will not bore you with the details of our conversation, but it made me realise that whatever happens will happen. just be content with what you've done and be happy overall.
i don't know how many of us can truly say that. i don't know if i can even say that. mind you my parents have been through it all so i guess they're coming from a different angle. but i the more i think about it, i think they're right. what the fuck could i do to stop a nuclear bomb or an attack? nothing.
these decisions are not in our hands, they're in the hands of those who will probably survive any attack, for their level 4, bullet/bomb/everything proof lincoln navigators have their engines reved ready to wisk them away. i wish everyone had something like that at their convenience.
why do i continue to ramble on about shit that i can't control...well first off because i can and i really don't feel like talking about valentine's day and second because i'm bored and on a political kick.
oh well i'll jump off that issue since know such thang has become my medium to rant about politics. i don't know if my views are on point with the rest of the world, but they suit me just fine.
ok..let's talk about valentine's day. i was hoping to have a special one this year, but alas i'm left alone and will be the first asshole in line at blockbuster renting knotting hill. however, i recall that lucydiamond has something up his sleeve so i'm not sure if it'll be a blockbuster night, just yet. i'm just covering my ass. don't think it'll be as fun as it could've been.
moving out of my apartment soon. it's between philly and downtown wilm. don't know where to go, but i'm going away from here. like a stone.
i'm listening to some audioslave.."like a stone". though i know the old rage cannot be replaced...i think audioslave is carving out a very nice niche. hey at least it's not kylie monogue. she's hot, but no real talent.
i sure wish i could go to spain in april. work politics sucks as much as world politics. i'll make it somewhere else in the fall. that's so far away.
i am back from paris and amsterdam a very changed person. andrea you were right. i was able to clear my head and recoup a little. things are much clearer now.
what can i say. markyt and i did a lot there. i only wish that everyone could have an experience like that...visiting other countries, cities, cultures...what have you. it's so worth it if you can do it.
the trip went by so fast and we did so much. i think we hit every site in paris and most in amsterdam. some highlights...
paris - my favourites were the cathedral of Notre-Dame, the champs-elysees, the eiffel tower, the latin quarter, and the metro. i loved everything. there was so much to see, i think my eyes are still in shock.
amsterdam - weed, weed, weed. ok that's not all what amsterdam was about. there was the city, the people, the culture. the landmarks such as the Anne Frank house (which was the most moving moment of the trip) and the national monument and center square.
the architecture in both cities was both classy, with touches of age-old, yet brilliant design, with some modern flair. not many cities in the usa compare to these two cities...at every turn i was in utter amazement at the history and the character of every building.
we had our funny moments in these cities. like the provacative ads all over paris. i had a field day taking pictures. paris we kept saying "asshole" and "69" in the native tongue. forget amsterdam. all we did was repeat goldmember's lines in austin powers. we probably came off as two big american assholes. but whatever. tis all good.
not to forget the women in these cities. five syllables...un-bel-iv-a-ble. can i have my one-way ticket to paris now...please. fucking great. i will be a good boy and keep the real "stories" to myself. if you must know such thangs, contact markyt. i'm not saying a fucking thing.
it's not that great to be back. i wish i could say otherwise. but i got more sad as i knew that i'd be returning to this, my own private idaho. my so-called life. my corner of the world. maybe my views about here will return to normal, but i think something is calling me to cross the atlantic and live over there for quite sometime. here's to crossing my fingers, closing my eyes, and hoping i make the right decision in the future. not matter what it is.
well there's obviously more to the trip. like my getting sick on the plane to paris, like meeting someone on the plane, like not getting to see aude or nico, like me looking like a typical american, like me using my french (pretty well i might add), like me falling for a waitress in the latin quarter of paris, like me falling off my top bunk in paris, like mark and i doping up, like ordering a "royale with cheese". yes it was done. just call me a badmuthafucka. there's a lot to tell. nothing i can recant in this one blog, this one sitting. all of it will come back to me in future blogs. and i will start it off with like this reminds me of the time i was in paris or amsterdam...u know the drizzill.
ah...listening to ol' blue eyes gets me going. what's in store for the future? who knows? it has to be able to top this trip. which might be hard to do. oh well.
go here and make fun of me.
homepage.mac.com/paulrespicio/PhotoAlbum1.html
listen to Sinatra and follow your dreams kids. like he says, "i've got the world on a string".
a sunday afternoon in amsterdam. the last three days have been the greatest ever. i think i want to move to paris for at least a year or two...i plan to do it before i'm 30. everyone should live in paris (or at least visit).
i'm in a local internet cafe posting a very abridged version of my regular blogs, but we've only got limited time here. tonight it's off to the airport to chill for about 7 hours before we board a plane to paris...at which point t and i have a two hour break before heading back to the states.
there is a lot to tell...but i'll save it for later. peace.
oh could i have been a parking lot attendant
could i have been a millionaire in bel air
could i have been lost somewhere in paris
could i have been your little brother
could i have been anyone other than me
could i have been anyone other than me
could i have been anyone other than me
could i have been anyone.....
twenty three i'm so tired of life, such a shame to throw it all away
images grow darker still
could i have been anyone other than me...then i
look up at the sky my mouth is open wide
lick and taste what's the use in worrying
what's the use in hurrying
turn turn we almost become dizzy
i am who i am who i am, well who am i....
requesting some enlightenment
could i have been anyone other than me, then i...
sing and dance i play for you tonight
the thrill of it all
dark clouds may hang on me sometimes
but i'll make it out.
"dancing nancies" c.1995
well i'm almost off. about 48 hours to go then i'm out. feeling really awkward. like it's a fused emotion of flying nervousness and of wanting to be there already, wrapped inside a blanket of man i've hyped this trip so much in my head that i'm fearful that it won't live up to my expectations. don't know why i do this, but as i'm typing my feelings i'm getting more and more relaxed. what the fuck. i'm just going to have a good time and get away from all this. the this being the unhealthy environment i've been subjected to.
hopefully visiting another culture will give me a better perspective. not necessarily on life, or women, or philosophy, or anything having to do with me. just something that's not here, not now. i'm not vowing that i'll be a different person, but who knows what'll happen over there. then again, some things might need to stay over there.
alone in the apartment again...makes me wonder if my other two roommates sometimes like wasting their money and use this place as a really expensive storage closet of sorts.
almost time to call it a nite. elevenfiftyone. how pathetic.
here's a very very long way to say goodnite. did you ever get sleepy talking to people on the phone. at first i thought that it might be narcolepsy...considering i get sleepy anywhere...but then i came to the conclusion that i was just being bombarded by things that don't interest me. believe me kids, that fucking list is growing more and more everyday. by april i'll probably be able to discuss only politics, the type of spaghetti sauce i use, and most importantly my uncanny ability to remember stupid facts dealing with 80s sitcoms (who's the boss anyone?). then again, maybe i'm just getting bored easily.
twelveam. time to wrap up some instantmessages (pir79, not that you should care).
ok back. i thought it time to comment on my tumultuous history in relationships...haha. i'm just kidding. listening to john mayer makes me think funny sometimes (if you were wondering "love song for no one" is a very good song). ok for real. i'm ok now.
later kids.
hopefully i can blog from overseas...if not, then i can't. you'll hear from me soon.
peace.
onehundred twenty-four and sixty-eight. that's how much fucking money i spent at target today. can you believe it? i sure can't. fuck.
blurry weekend. good to have some family around...it was a great antidote to an otherwise shitty month. as previously mentioned.
it's february. the time for lovey-dovey cards, hearts, chocolates, candy, balloons, all that fun shit. doesn't look like luciedymound and knowsuchthang will be celebrating cupid's day this year. fuck..i'm watching too many mtv "true life" episodes.
the trip i've been talking about for so long is finally here. i just hope i'm able to finally put away the tense feelings i've been having since i started work. i think i can i think i can i think i can...
i sure hope i'm not arrested while i'm overseas; i don't think the exchange rate will be in the us dollar's favor during this next week. for bail money of course.
sad news about the columbia. my heart and prayers go out to those affected; which in my opinion should be everyone. should we stop the space program..absolutely not.
blix is to hold more talks with iraq tomorrow. i'm looking forward to powell's "presentation of evidence" @the UN this wednesday. should be enough gas to power the motorcade of war. shall i start photocopying the lyrics to kumbaya?
ok enough. i lovve me some iced tea.
ok don't laugh i'm listening to the sly caps. yes of mtv made fame. the song is called "the boring life" and yes it's very telling of me "right now"!
that's off...now hearing some radiohead (karmapolice). arrest this man...he talks in maths.
i think i've strayed away from the pointless dialogue that so consumed the world-famous weblog know as "nosuchthing"
so here's a tidbit the lovely folks at snapple told me "lizards communicate through push-ups" how's that for a fucking $1.25 spent on a watered down, yet very tasty lemon iced tea beverage.
tis friday and i ain't got nothing to do. it's weird going through the motions of actually planning a weekend. hear me out. you get used to something for so long, when it's not there anymore you're sort of at a loss. but it's for the best and i'm a be ok.
three topics. the state of the union. american idol. northkorea/iraq.
-bush did a suprisingly convincing job on tuesday night. i think his approval rating the next day was at post 9/11 numbers. i watched and the nerd that i am i took notes (it's for work kids). i don't buy his plan for economic stimulus nor do i think he is really trying to give monies back to the bottom 99% (you and me). his cronies are fiddling his strings and getting what they want. it's ok, clinton did it too. but he got a blowjob out of it.
-american idol is so fucking funny. it becomes cliche after awhile and you begin to wonder how many times this british guy can say the same thing. the other two, well they really don't count. one of the final 32, sang at my friend's sister's wedding last year. very odd. he said that this guy doesn't look like a pop star. that my friends should say it all. i'll still watch for the funny degrading element.
-north korea and iraq. two very small countries. yet both could have devastating impacts on the you ess of a. don't know what to think. i heard that rummy might go back to the draft process if "need" be. let's just make sure all their kids get accepted into the ivy league schools first, then we'll draft the rest. this is looking more and more like the late 60s/early 70s. germany and france are sacking up and voicing their distaste for cowboy bush's platform. i, myself, don't know what to say about that. i think france will join because they don't want to be left out of talks, germany will not join because they stand on their own principles.
as i've said before, this world is headed for the door as a giant turd on fire. before we inevitably go splat, someone needs to intervene and convince the world that war will lead to more war. not always peace. but either way no one will be happy. i don't know if we've begun to accept that.
ok enough...i think i'm done my geo-political stream of consciousness.
(third eye blind playing "narcolepsy")
i get tired of staring at this damn cell phone. i can feel this narcolepsy slide into another nightmare. i try to keep awake.
this weekend lyn is visiting. she's good people; one of the few left in this fucked up world. i think we're going round iladelph tomorrow.
as i depart for this evening three words "paris and amsterdam". it's coming soon kids.
(you're in my mind all of the time..i know it's not enough..but if the sky can crack there must be someway back..for love and only love..electrical storm..electrical storm..electrical storm. baby don't cry)
eleven days. the anticipation grows as i can smell the l'essence du monde.
i need to buy a dictionary.
it's hard not to miss something that's been a part of you for a considerable amount of time. time ain't no friend of mine nor hers. though i'd like to say i can read into the future and predict a happy conclusion, i can't, so i have no idea. it's something that i want, but is it something i'll get...hmm...anyone have the proverbial magic 8 ball?
"...and i've lost my page again, i know this is so real but i'll try my luck with you, this life is on my side, i am your one, believe me this is a chance oh."
(this is where i digress)
i think the industry i am involved in has afforded me the opportunity to sit on the pulse of different geo-political climates and the varying issues here at home or around the world. being the optimist aka bed-wetting liberal that i am, being surrounded by republicans and having conservative views whizzing past my ears every minute is quite a treat for me. it's surprising how the mind reacts when it's outnumbered. nature at its finest. the term "suck it up and take one for the team" has never been so prevalent. i'm what you can an living oxymoron, a liberal in a very pro "rich" industry. don't get me wrong, i wouldn't trade it for anything else right now. these are some exciting times.
anxiously i await and wonder how this world's going to fuck itself over during these upcoming years. by the way...the state of the union is on tomorrow night. sorry you bachelorette watchers. that bitch is taking a seat to dubya aka strategery aka more and more of our imports are coming from overseas aka i didn't really win that election. ah. live it up.
has anyone other than me seen the "All The Things She Said" video? for sheezy ma neezy. wow-za.
ok going now. all mixed up and i'm feeling cornered and rushed. good night.
peace.
this is shaping up to be one of the worst years ever. like a fcuking kevin smith movie. i'm actually typing this blog on my new computer. you know, the one i had to purchase because my flat was buglarized. that's right. some gaylord fawkers kicked the door open, looted, and left my flatmates and i in terrible disarray.
police came and a report was filed. i think it's time to move out. philly (or nyc) here comes the diddy.
i hark at lucydiamond when i say here here (go to lucydiamond.blogspot.com). i miss her (d.e.r.) terribly too. but my friend this is how it is and how it has to be. can't let nothing get us down. i know this much is true. it' s not letting them get down. go on, be happy, and hope for prosperity. this much is true-ooh.
like an old 80s song; i'm gone in a flash. i am kaiser so-say.
i think mac os X is the greatest computer platform ever.
going to finish up some snl. vaca in 11 days.
does anyone know if mtv is lookind for videojockeys? if so, please hook me up.
peace.
"are you in or are you out" -daniel ocean (g.clooney)
"if you want it you got it, you just got to believe
believe in yourself
cuz it's all just a game we just want to be loved" -lenny kravitz
i guess i owe it to the readers on the haps regarding my life...but then again i really don't.
here's a snipit. i'm no longer in a relationship with summer rain. the reason are too personal and too long to discuss. thought i'd share that much with you. still miss her but that's life.
like i told lucydiamond...sometimes you gotta roll with the punches
"you bet big and you lost. are you going to walk away or step up and bet again? i'm betting again." -will hunting, and he went to see about a girl.
on my new speakers...shakira and david gray
on my xbox...ocean's eleven
on my mind...sleep.
whew...last nite was a blur in the truest sense.
to go into detail would be an injustice to the promised confidentialities of last nite.
two words: vegas baby...no i did not go to las vegas.
tomorrow is the much-hyped football match that people in this area, it seems, have been waiting the last 20 years for. to me, though i do partake, it's no big thing. just another reason to sit around staring at a 27" screen all day. pizza anyone.
an odd occurrence. a friend from the past called me this afternoon. haven't spoken to this person since i was a sophmore in high school (1994-95). we used to be best friends, but still there's this feeling of uneasiness about the whole thing. i wonder what the motives are. after 7 years, i think i'm entitled to be a bit skeptical. details to follow.
if someone offered you a job in one of the world's most exciting cities, doing something you're not necessarily interested in, would you take it?
on itunes...i'm hearing the white stripes...incubus...50cent
on comcast...i was watching iverson crossover and the sly caps do shitty
fuck fuck fuck fuck. i've got all these ones i don't know what to do with them.
nothing went on today. actually, i'm finding this 'joe millionaire' show quite amusing. i don't know whether to think this guy is a manipulative, deceitful, poor man's don juan or whether or not he is a smart motherfucker for getting this gig and getting fox to flip the bill. hmm..i wonder
i'm still waiting for pdiddy to formally declare his exploratory committee for the us presidency. i'll settle for dave letterman.
one of the most awkward moments in the world is having an empty seat next to you on the train and having someone ask you if they can take it. i like to think i'd offer it to just about anyone, but you never really know until you're in that situation (on either end). i've been shot down a couple times and i've done some shooting. i have no idea where i'm going with this shit but whatever it was on my mind during the last five minutes.
i am very very very fearful that gwb will remain our president and that the elephants will have the controlling interest in both houses. although it may seem that i'm a democrat, don't assume that. i am an independent. c'mon democrats are republicans hiding under complex phrases and a left smile. they're all fucking schmucks. and you can quote me.
i hope i'm up for senate one day and they dig this fucking journal up. i'd love to explain my ass out of this one.
i was watching vh1 tonight, reliving the 80s...great. just what we need.
"trying your luck" by the strokes
"thin line" by jurassic5
"this love" by maroonfive
"electrical storm" by u2
happy holidays and happy new year (belated, of course).
i've been meaning to get on this sucker and write but my very busy fucking schedule hasn't allowed me the time. ok no more sarcasm. just been out of focus. now i'm back.
i actually started another "journal"...this one's more for when i don't have a computer at my disposal, when i feel like writing. also, it's for my upcoming venture.
don't think i mentioned this but i will be taking a journey in the upcoming month. i won't spoil the surprise, but i'll be sure to blog from where i'll be. anyway.
alot of funky shit has been happening in the world. the inevitable war with iraq, the potential war with n.korea, people cloning humans, neil almost getting axed (ok not really), freddie breaking up with his bitch ass girlfriend, me shaving my head, me getting fed up with finance, but then biting my tongue because the money is good (not for long kids)...whew. what a wild and crazy few weeks.
the holidays went by pretty well. other than the helpless feeling i had when my little cousin opened the gift i got her and she told me it sucked. that was great. had to fucking work the days before and after Christmas and New Year's. complete noise...everyone should have those two weeks off, except politicians. let those rotten mofos wake up at 630, defog their windows, shovel snow, and brave the cold weather. jerks.
oh by the way...if you make between $200-500K (or more). may you sleep better tonight. my strategery boy aka dumberer aka happy birthday mr. president aka big texas big oil big war big fun has implemented quite a ambitious economic recovery plan. cut taxes for the upper echelon of those who make money and while we're at it cease taxation on stock dividends. oh by the way...the only mofos who get tax dividends, you guessed it, they make between $200-500K. ah...eat the rich.
not that i care. i really don't but there's only so many times i can see asshole co-workers compare the shade of gold on their rolexes and make jokes about shopping at outlet stores. i fucking hate brooks brothers clothing.
let's see, what i'm listening to now. the new jurassicfive, new the roots, new system of a down, the used, and some sinatra.
not much else is up with me. i'm fastly approaching sept mois. went by fast, though there were some bumps, we're doing good (fingers crossed and knocking on wood). the week is filled with feelings of anticipation of seeing her. just like i felt when we were just friends and she came to visit me at ihouse on that fateful friday night. who would've thought she'd been in my life and i'd be so in love. ah. thanks for the beautiful ornaments. thanks for being you.
