drinking a bottled water, staring at the computer screen, and listening to the intro for "sex in the city"
iknowiknowbut until i'm"rescued"from the doldrums my anti-social kick, i'll get by.
finally i made some decisions.
i don't feel like writing.
the one thing i've disliked about holidays is knowing that the clock is ticking before you have to return to work or school.
that's always a bitch.
had tons of fun hanging with the boys this weekend. goldengirl (power99) + whip = a good fucking story
fivespot sucks. mlounge and tangerine sufficed...but enough with dumb birds talking about the preakness and kentucky derby. just take your shirt off...then we'll lisen to you.
by the way...that sevenandseven...was light on the seven (seagrams).
yo lazyeye...what was the name of that book again?
familiar habits are old to break sometimes. i think the "switch" to upsaid was part of a long therapeutic sojourn that i've still yet to understand and finish.
well it has been quite sometime since i've really written. thoughts..ideas..rants..raves..hopes..fears..what have you. not to say i didn't really write what i thought on the upsaid.but i think it was much more a forum for ventilation.a means to get through.the anti-dote to the bains of my existence.aka the anti-flirt. i said i'd return maybe it will. whatever. summer vacation.
so i heard my someone from my past (i won't say who) was in town this weekend. it's funny i didn't really think about her until i heard about it at dinner this evening (garlic breathe never served such a better lovepotion). i actually think she's in town for good until the fall. smith college they say. i hear she's still the same kind of person. not surprising to me; it's kind of watching a contiguous psycho-sematic pattern. you want to turn away, but you say 'what the fuck' and you keep watching. no tiny dancers in my hands. goodbye. wait. good riddance.
this summer my focus will be on a test that supposedly determines my business school fate. i believe whole-heartedly that standardized tests (e.g. sat, sat 2, gre, gmat, lsat) are a farce to education. don't give me this shit about testing my fucking aptitude or my "future" abilities to succeed in grad school. i shit on these types of tests for they deny perfectly (possibly more perfect) good students the opportunities that rich, under-worked, under-achieving, turd filled, top 1% (tax bracket), ultra conservative, flawless thinking, candidates get handed to them on a silver platter. i have to play the game. as my good friend morpheus told me..free your mind.
can't believe it's almost been a year since liberation. only to join another du, but this time a corporate du. it's been good, but not what i expected. you hear about being on the bottom of the proverbial food chain, but to participate in it first hand is all together a humbling, 'real' experience. from greed, to jealousy, to anger, to happiness, to utter boredom, to the relief, to excitement, to reflection. i've been through it since finishing my degree. work is work. i am big on the idea that your first job out of school isn't necessarily what you'll do for rest of your life (oh i hope i'm right on this), it's more of taking what is available doing what you think you 'should' be doing. i sorely wished that took a sabbatical(sic) last summer and experienced life abroad..ran with the bulls, participated in la tomatina, saw more of the world...whatever. i don't want to live in regret. there will be more opporunity (please oh please) for these things to occur. i just have to start thinking about me. i lost my focus for a minute there. but i think double down is back...why...because you always double down on eleven..like splitting aces. here comes the big fucking bear, watch out bunnies.
listened to: jackjohnson, blackstar, beck, thewhitestripes, ol' blue eyes.
reading: "when genius failed" by ???
thinking that: blogger is cool (again)
