tuesday is almost done...so is april? gone so fast.
going to class at 10 and coming back at 9 really takes its toll on such an old man like myself. i wonder if it would be too juvenile of me to drive a car considering my commute borders on roughly 5 city blocks. ok i guess i'll settle for a scooter.
let's do the final academic countdown...in the next month i've got two mid-terms, one case/project and one project/presentation...i keep telling myself not to buckle...then i wonder if i even need to try these last weeks. i think i will anyway...it's just my nature i guess.
i feel like having some alcohol this evening...hope one of my friends is in the same mood i'm in. otherwise, it'll be wawa sandwiches and snapple for the rest of the evening...apple martini's anyone? i still feel like a walking timebomb...but i'll live.
i decided on starting my post-college job a week earlier...juneseventeenth. exciting stuff. i hope i know what i'm doing at this company...who shall remain nameless for copyright's sake...i've very lucky to be where i'm at. it sucks knowing that more dedicated, more intelligent, and more needy kids don't have jobs....i feel bad. but i know i shouldn't, just a roll of the dice i guess.
twentyfour: bad jokes / elevators that smell / not being able to steimy government policy
ears would say: paul is listening to the strokes / white stripes / the roots / lauryn hill
eyes would say: salinger is brilliant / the drexel library's reference section is massive
mind would say: does the jedi mind thing really exist and if so, could i relay to nelly furtado or natalie portman that i'm "the one"
youshouldsee: http://www.thestrokes.com
remember that song..."i don't like mondays"...just thought i'd reference that since it is monday.
i just saw a pretty interesting movie called "the sum of all fears". adapated from the clancy novel. good stuff. i think it does an excellent job of mirroring political / military tensions that existed (and in some factions, still exist) between the us and russia. i won't ruin it for those of you going to see it...but it's very captivating.
well i should be working on the econometrics assignment i've been putting off, not to mention the paper i need to write for my non-profits class. five more weeks. then i'll be audi quattro. i should call my boy Mark...he's interviewing for a chef gig back home in DE...some really posh joint...hope he gets it.
seeing- the sum of all fears / salinger
hearing- nas / nelly furtado / the crystal method
thinking- what is the shelf life on spaghetti sauce / why do ads for watches always read 10 & 2..i already know the answer to this one.
twentyfour- attractive international women who only know english words that insult
toview- http://www.apple.com --just say no to peecees
i got my ass beat in chess...i'm not too bitter about that except for the fact that people just felt like they had to watch. i think a couple of times i moved my pieces just to make them wonder if i really knew how to play...bastards....go by a television. i think i maybe venting my frustration of losing on the audience. i'm sure when a.i. has a bad game he doesn't blame the fans, he blames himself. i mean i'm competitive in all things that require mental exertion ...chess being one thing on a list of things a mile long. maybe i'm just bitter, yeah that it. let it ride.
this weekend has been on the shitty side. there wasn't a whole lot to do. in the last 9months...i've become uninterested in the philadelphia nightlife. same thing everytime....you go to these bars or lounges and watch insipid rittenhouse square wannabe socialites hit on your friends (nish-boogie, ruch, and jax...not to mention hit on neil, double-down, and myself). it makes me nauseous. it's like you're surrounded by really, really uninteresting people and it's not worth the energy....let alone the money. i should use the money on books and music. i'm just voicing er..journaling my observations. i'm so happy that my friends are with me when i go out...they play the voices of reason otherwise i'd go nuts. maybe i should confine myself to playing trivial pursuit every weekend.
i think i'm the biggest hypocrite i know.
oh well...
hearing....phantom planet / aerosmith / n.e.r.d.
seeing.....nba playoffs (go sixers) / salinger / easton ellis
thinking....i need to hone my chess skills / ice cream would be nice
twenty4pzzz....nosy people / losing in chess / naked pictures
youshouldview....http://www.swatch.com / http://www.m-w.com (brush up on some big words kids) / http://www.snapple.com
last nite was fun. one of my friends threw a party because he's off to France this evening. like i said a while back....you get used to people coming and going (especially living here at eyehouse)....most people get used to it, i don't think i do. it's always a bit sad for me to see people i've become accustomed to seeing everyday and gotten to know, leave just like that.
it sucks...but as my French friend told me last nite..."c'est la vie" bon chance julien!
despite the reason for last nite's soiree, it was still fun. one thing i will miss about eyehouse is seeing international students party. in my four years living in universityhousing, this year living in my own microcosm of the world aka eyehouse, has been the most fun. i've relearned the concepts of working hard, being real, and having a good fucking time! i'm loving it.
well it's official. five more weeks of classes, then it's graduation to the pros. then it'll be my time for saying goodbyes and all that. my nervousness has transformed itself into shear madness. i'm like a walking timebomb...but it's nothing a good apple martini can't fix...not to mention some good music....especially radiohead. i listen to thom yorke's lyrics and i realize i'm not as fucked up as some others out there. and these bastards are rock stars.
seeing/reading: nba playoffs (c'mon sixers) / salinger and kafka
hearing: radiohead / oasis / any neptunes stuff
thinking: departures are sad / the weather is nice
24pissy: turning in homework late / burnt popcorn / bathrooms that smell like tuna / right-wing politicians' brainwashing abilities (ref. to the recent vote of Le Pen in France)
sites2view: http://www.lemonde.fr and http://www.moviefone.com
unlike most people...i like the rain. there's an underlying quality in it, whether it's the calm nature of the sound or the soothing, yet relentless pouring of drops...i just don't know. well...i'm breaking before my class at 6 so this blog will be short. people are waiting to use this computer.
last night was another hardfought war of trivial pursuit. guess who was the victor...c'est moi. granted there was a fair share of illegal advisory activity during the game...that was disregarded. all bow to the most honest trivial pursuit player in the world.
well i also heard about....ok wait.....some stupid fuck is looking at my screen. i hate it when people look at what you're typing and think they're being inconspicuous. bastards. there's no slyness involved in looking....it's not hard to notice people when they're most vulnerable. i'm wishing this fuck next to me sees this....
ok he just left
still reading, seeing, and thinking...will post more later.
so i was told recently that my blogs are boring. not that i will cater to those lucky enough to read these posts, but i guess i'll try to make it more interesting. maybe i'll start posting those fucking fun facts you can find in the lids of snapple bottles. how's that for fucking boring!
i was reminded today about the fierce trivial pursuit game that lasted until threea.m. i love how people are such good guessers at these types of games. it makes you look really intelligent if you guess correctly. sort of like the SATs. there three types of people who fare at the SATs: those who know their shit, those who guess and do well, and those who guess and do shitty. unfortunately, 90% of the population fall in the latter two categories.
i think standardized tests are complete farces to society...they serve to measure how well you take fucking tests. ok it may seem like i have a chip on my fucking shoulder, but c'mon the bias is so evident. just in case you were wondering (1390)
i guess that's another issue to be discussed....i'm feeling a bit pissed off...i'll be back later.
hearing: outkast, diddy, and moby
seeing: j.d. salinger's "rye" and the newest GQ
thinking: mmm...popcorn
home was great. good food and fun and relaxation. a much needed rejuvenation for myself.
ah...the weather is much more bearable since the weekend. now I can concentrate in my room. last week was quite extraordinary, but it wasn't welcomed at all. it's over until the summer.
i absolutely despise the heat. i am completely a fall/winter type person. people look at me funny when I say that.
tonight i have to study for an exam i have at six pm tomorrow. it's funny how much a student's work ethic declines since the begginning of school. call it what you will, senioritis, laziness, whatever...i think at this point the only focus is getting through and receiving that degree. that the state of mind i have for school. i do have some selfish objectives left, but i think for the most part my desire to excel isn't there anymore.
living at eyehouse is great. seeing people from all over the world...such a very rare experience.
ok time to wrap up...studytime.
seeing: a half-full bottle of Aquafina and a mountain of a notebook to overcome this evening
hearing: sneaker pimps, the white stripes, oasis and moby
thinking: about dinner and studying
twentyfour: losing at trivial pursuit at 3 in the morning and waking up later than expected.
sighttoosee: http://www.moby.com
hot hot hot....fuck. the ihouse has provided many of the residents here with empty promises of an a/c working by weeks end....
rent should be deducted....
going home this weekend so this will be my last blog until after the weekend....home sweet home....home is where the heart is...ah. in comparison to some of my fellow resident-mates i am quite lucky since the very popular, famous, and sometimes notorious state of Delaware is only a mere hour away. i can, in theory, go home everyday and/or as often as i'd like...i should take advantage of that but i don't. i do feel bad about that, because i don't see my parents as often as i want to and should.
i'm such a shitty kid...somebody shoot me.
these last couple of days have been so blurry....my haze has been not only heat induced but also ignited by nervousness of graduation. cap and gown, cords, figuring out gpas, invitations, rings, all that stuff. just like that five years....gone in a flash. i must say that it's been fun for the most part, there have been some curve balls thrown to this fucking batter, ones i have missed/others i have knocked out the hizzouse/and those that have confused me out of knowing what to do. but i guess now it's time to be on and out. can't dwell on the shit i haven't done in these five years, just being content with what i've done. now it's time for work/money/vacation/sleep/death. not always in that order. i'm hoping somewhere in that mix i can go to grad school, but that's easy to say when you're in my position, ask me in three years.
ok i'll stop being sentimental....that was something on my chest i had to let out.
i'm liking the fact that i can write about any care i have at any moment...it's not like a physical journal i have to lug around. it's "e" baby. my friend mentioned to me that my through my entries she's able to learn more about me...something i am happily surprised about...it makes me also wonder about what i can do so people learn about me through me, in addition to my journal. a work-in-progress my friend.
well tonight was quite unproductive. skipped class (not intentional, but much needed)...did what about fifteenmillionothers did (friends) and skipped out on two offers to go out. one for a local joint called the blarneystone and the other to a cc place called barnoir aka the market. kind of glad i'm staying in tonight. ample opportunity to watch u.s. late night tv programming at its finest...ok seriously someone shoot me.
ok time to wrap up this comp lab is getting hotta on da blotta as my friends ludacris and juvenile would say. or was it paul mccartney? ok here goes...
24pissed: #1 with a fucking bullet...the hot weather, not having a/c, people who skip class (and pull off As...bastards), buying a train ticket with quarters, and different strokes not being shown in reruns anywhere (que te hablas willis?)
mind is seeing: swingers(dvd)...best movie ever...especially when being pissed on by T.O.S. (this will be a tough one to decipher...think can't live/can't live without), oh yeah i'm also seeing the philadelphia weekly
mind is hearing: radiohead/the strokes/miles davis/sinatra/notorious b.i.g.
mind is saying: get your ass a cold beverage...kudos to g love.
ok...so maybe everyone will not get my lyrics...whatever man...i say to the masses, enlighten your musical tastes and do some research.
so what shall my rant be about today....
last night i went to a bar with some friends and we chatted it up. one of the topics was dating someone older than you. someone i know, who shall remain nameless, is going out with someone a DECADE older than her. i feel that saying ten years does it no justice. we gave her a good ribbing last night...fuck it...it was funny.
as an afterthought though...there's really nothing wrong with dating someone older (or younger) than you. i think for me my threshold is around 5-6 years (either way). however, socially it would much more acceptable for me to date someone younger than me rather than older. nevermind that. if i want to date an older, much more wrinkled, pill guzzling, fortysomething...by all means i'll do it. i like older women anyway...they just get right to it...no bullshit.
i will play hypocrite and say that i find older guys dating younger women quite disgusting. has our society not learned our lessons with the anna-nicoles, mena suvaris, and other such lolitas of the world...guess not...what i would give to be hugh hefner for one day....nevermind....couldn't take the side effects of viagra....as evidenced by the timely demise of Bill C aka Bubba.
new topic.
my economics/finance background has afforded me the liberty to say (without care) that I suck at computers...this is a horrible segway for saying that i will never figure out how people can post...so in the meantime e-mail me at: paulrespicio@yahoo.com
ok let's wrap up....
mind is hearing: chris isaak, portishead, biggie, moby and smashing pumpkins
mind is seeing: wsj, the metro, girls in short (very short) skirts and shorts, and friends (re-runs)
mind is saying: lunch is good
24pissed: the hot weather, sleepless nights, and big words (where is a dictionary when you need it)
sites2view: www.picturetrail.com/jacqui_lou
ok...so i've told most of my friends about on the mind...now that i've got their attention, what shall i do? post lyrics of some brilliant songs. here's the first (anyone with the correct answer will an undisclosed prize)...suckers!
song number one
I’m an outlaw
Quick on the draw
Something you never seen before
And I dare a motherfucker to come in my face
I got something chrome
And I got it from home
And it ain’t a microphone
And I dare a motherfucker to come in my face
It’s so real
How I feel
It’s this society
That makes a nigga want to kill
I’m just straight ill
Riding my motorcycle down the streets
While politicians is sounding like strippers to me
They keep saying
But I don’t want to hear it
Ooo baby you want me
Well you can get this lapdance here for free
Ooo baby you want me
Well you can get this lapdance here for free
song two
There’s something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming / confusing
This lack of self control I fear is never ending
Controlling / I can’t seem
To find myself again
My walls are closing in
[Without a sense of confidence / I’m convinced
there's just too much pressure to take]
I’ve felt this way before
So insecure
Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me
Distracting / reacting
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection
It’s haunting how I can’t seem
To find myself again
My walls are closing in
[Without a sense of confidence / I’m convinced
there's just too much pressure to take]
I’ve felt this way before
So insecure...
song three
please could you stop the noise i'm trying to get some rest
from all the unborn chicken voices in my head
what's there
what's there
when i am king you will be first against the wall
with your opinion which is of no consequence at all
what's there
what's there
ambition makes you look pretty ugly
kicking squealing gucci little piggy
you don't remember
you don't remember
why don't you remember my name
off with his head
off with his head
why don't you remember my name
i guess he does
rain down
rain down
come on rain down
on me
from a great height
from a great height
height
height
finally figured out how to get the right time to reflect on the mind...still haven't figured out how to get other people to reply to my entries. for now i guess it's just read-only for the masses.
went and saw two movies yesterday: freedom highway - highly recommend it, good message regarding the role of music in politics. then saw onehalf of a movie called a chronicle of corpses...let's just say i'll be generous and say it was eh. took too long to develop. funny story is that i repeated these same words to neil (www.thelazyeye.com) whilst the director walks by the office.
hot weather...this shit isn't due for another two months. at least that's what my almanac says....fucking barnes & nobles. i am not one for performing well in the heat. can't study, can't sleep, can't do much of anything. i see all these kids out here with their khaki, cargo shorts...man it makes me sick. to be in a world free from cargo short wearing college kids who act like they're in st. tropez or some shit like that. it's philadelphia...put some jeans on. besides some people need to keep their legs covered...i'll keep my observations to myself.
one shitty thing about living in eyehouse is the constant turnover of residents. in the span of three months i've seen 15+ french kids say aurevoir, two japanese kids say sayonara, and two americans say later. very disheartening...how's one supposed to conjure up relations if faces change on a dime. i've only lived at 3701 for a year (almost) so maybe my reaction is ordinary of an inexperienced eyehouser, but still. we all say we can keep in contact which is true for the most part, but its never the same. jflo said that one gets used to it...if that's the case i believe i will have developed a hardened heart. don't know if that's what i want. vive la france!
i guess i'd better ante up to what i just wrote....excuse me while i kiss the sky.
eyes: will they ever meet Natalie Portman's
ears: enigma, beanie siegel, U2, and the Strokes
mind: grade changes (when), graduating with distinction, a long night of microeconomics
24pissed: hot weather, weeklong delays in turning on a/c, people who kiss ass just to look good
it's so hot here...i heard that ihouse will be turning on the a/c this week. it's one of those believe it when i see it things. so i was told that if i told others about this site i might regret it. others being offended by what i write, in case they're mentioned and what not. fuck that. read on while i write on without regard for others. i've done that for twentytwo years now...maybe i should give it a rest...at least while i do this thing...so tell all you friends about nosuchthing,
that being said....
i'm ready for bed now. ended up going to chilis with my friends...i was asked by jax to describe one word to describe myself. i found it a bit difficult to say something...couldn't really think. i said honest (but that's not true all the time), i said humorous (but i can say some shitty jokes)...after thinking it through the rest of the night, i told myself i'd settle on a phrase rather than limit myself to one word. that phrase is: work-in-progress.
okay, it's a cop out. everyone is a work in process...we're all constantly learning, growing, and reworking ourselves...never really finishing or being happy with what we got. i think that's where i am...i don't think a phrase can define you, especially if you are in the beginnings of your lifetime. for now it'll work, while i continue on...
boring shit? well fuck you...hehe.
okay let's see here....
24pissed: people who remove your clothes from the dryer...shit i was only 5 minutes late!, people who eavesdrop, and finally the heat. ah...for it to be 30 degress outside.
ears: back to the Strokes, Moby, Marley, and David Gray (for nostalgic purposes)
eyes: PS/2, whatever shit is on channel 3 @2am, and natalie portman (thought I forgot)
mind: microeconomics homework and the beginning to what looks to be a long week
oh yeah one last thing that pissed me off in 24...standardized testing. gmat and lsat here i come!
ears: Moby
eyes: Emmett's Mark (excellent indie film), Late Show w/David Letterman, The Agency...and yes Natalie Portman
mind: movie, bar, or sleep?
man this week is finally over. had my econometrics exam yesterday...not too bad. the girls went to that fucking bar again. they say i missed out...shiet!
ah...to be a graduating senior and to have the accolades (and frustrations) associated with it. i attended an awards ceremony congratulating the most outstanding co-op students out of the class of 2K2...very, very weird. saw my old boss there...still mad cool. we were both looking at our watches waiting for our turn to go up and i swear i thought i was going to fall on my face. nervous as hell man....gotta go study....also gotta figure out how people can reply to my posts.
oh yeah....I'm going to start a section for on the mind called "things that have pissed me off in the last twentyfour hours"
here goes...ex-girlfriends, biased news, has been movie stars who get attractive women (you'll have to ask me about this one), expensive drinks, and video games (when you lose)
mind is hearing - The Strokes (esp. "Hard To Explain") and Saves The Day
mind is seeing - Natalie Portman (she's still amazing and no i am not a star wars fan)
mind is saying - go study econometrics
at the suggestion of my friend...i have begun "on the mind". this is a collection of my thoughts on what is going on in my life and what i feel like ranting about. not that any of you should even care. anyways...welcome.
this is a brief entry because i'm on my way back to ihouse....
mind is reading - "Glamorama" by Bret Easton Ellis
mind is hearing - The Strokes, John Mayer, N.E.R.D., and Nelly Furtado
mind is seeing - Natalie Portman (she's amazing)
mind is saying - go to bed
