it's funny when you catch someone lying to you....the lengths people will go to try and cover something you already know the answer to. it's a shame but many people i know do it, and i'm always catching them. it's funny.
listening to music really loud is a good way to push people away. you look busy but you're really not. you may damage your ears though.
i wanted to post some lyrics to a great song that no one really likes except me. if you get a chance download pearl jam's "do the evolution". once you do that the government will track your sorry ass down. look at me i'm posting from jail right now. can someone bail me out, please?
musik - garbage. thestrokes. pearl jam
litrachure - amerika by kafka
tawght - people are alcoholics
i try not to regret things too much but i think there are some moments in the last year that i do indeed wish had/hadn't happened.
i took eva out for some coffee / she's leaving tomorrow for Spain / it really sucks that she's outta here but i know i'll see her again...in Munich this September i hope. pass the courvoisier! i haven't written (in depth) for sometime now. i think it's been therapeutic for me(computers can be evil sometimes)...plus why right for the sake of righting; where's the beauty in that shit.
this is really the final countdown now. it's like 18 some odd days until i'm completely out of philly. i'd be lying if i didn't allow myself to believe living in philly and eyehouse changed my life tremendously. i've grown in many facets; 1.living in a metropolis heightens one's awareness especially if you come from affluent MC/W suburbia like me 2.living in a metropolis also allows you to experience things some people just see on t.v. (historic districts / nightlife / drugs / alcohol / extreme wealth / gluttony / fake people / celebrities / homelessness / crime / violence / wawa sandiches / unlimited snapple bottles / people's ability to consume as much as they waste...crazy shit) 3.living in eyehouse exposed my ignorance and preconceived notions about other countries / cultures / and people however 4.it also allowed me to correct my sometimes oblivious nature and learn a lot 5.eyehouse is the only place i know where i can sit with people from China / Croatia / Ukraine / Russia / Saudi Arabia / Germany / France / Korea / Japan and all over discuss (or mock) politics / watch pornography (kidding..ok just 1nce) / play risk / watch sports playoffs / drink / drink / drink / peut-etre fumer le be-doo? / and learn about each other...shit i will so miss this place.
what burns is that when i leave i would expect some people to be here if i ever wanted to come back (jflo/ruch/nish-boogie/allen aka doubledown will be here) but as fate would place it all my other friends are leaving for either another part of the us or another part of the world. i'm not one to doubt fate but it sucks how it turns out sometimes...sort of like missing your ex-girlfriend and not hearing from her until you have already moved on...that's the fucking burn.
tonight i have to write a paper for my final presentation on thursday but i highly doubt that will deter me from participating in activities that will prevent me from waking up at the time i should wake up. got a meeting with misha at 11 regarding our apartment search then group meetings (i love the Drexel library) then cavs (a must).
i must leave now but i'll write more..when i feel it's necessary. paul
imlisteningto: the strokes / placebo / blur / truth hurts
imreadingthe: latest businessweek / gq / rollingstone
imthinkingthat: in eighteen days i'll be back in delaware
cannot right much today....i haven't posted in awhile and that is not necessarily a bad thing. been thinking about BMC a lot / i never speak to her on the phone and rarely do i receive e-mails. it sucks sometimes but i'll get over it.
wednesday thru today has been fun. went to BLK to visit my future employer / i think there i'll learn to appreciate the idea of team-work, competitiveness, and 'performance based acceleration'. went to ALM's graduation party. it was very fun...i'm happy for her. celebrated my graduation with my parents and some friends (though i still have two weeks left).
running now...people waiting for a computer can be fierce
don't feel like righting much today. went to the bar last nite. had some fun before nish-boogie heads off to san fran.
i think getting up in the late afternoon is much harder than in the morning.
sixtydegrees, sunny, with a slight breeze is very nice.
watching people through the rpo is funny...i think 1nce i start working i won't find too many things funny anymore..it's scary.
in the meantime i find solice in the fact that the cafe downstairs always has free coffee.
onmympthreeplayer. gorillaz / dirty vegas / lifehouse
onmytelevision. thenewashantivideo / thebreakfastclub
onmythoughtpalette. drink specials will be my only reason for going out tonight or tomorrow
the weekend is almost behind me. it wasn't too bad. had good times with friends. here's the recap.
friday. envy. the club wasn't that great but the people inside were nice. tobias, neil, and myself contested as to who would be able to find a female by night's end. needless to say tobias and myself were down 1-0 (each) at that point. you'll have to ask neil (www.thelazyeye.com) about the victory. later that night back at the eyehouse...i discovered that an american should not take on a frenchman in a drinking match-up. nico consumed nine vodka shots to tobias / neil / and myself doing six each. quite pathetic. neil also won our hallway frisbee toss...score is 2-0
saturday. it was understood that saturday night would have to be much more productive evening than friday in order to validate this weekend as a 'success'. we (jax, melissa, tobias, neil, and me) went to 5spot for hip-hop night. very crowded and very not envy. needing to release tensions from the night prior (and with a little kick in the ass by senor durbin) i got my ass off an expensive red leather couch and manuvered my way to the dance floor (couldn't be shy this night, besides i've seen girls ten times better looking and better dancing in miami). not even 5spot minutes am i on the floor, does an attractive girl approach me for a dance. natalie was her name. long story short. we danced for about a half hour, exchanged numbers, she asked me to call her if we couldn't meet later that night in the club. well we didn't meet and i don't think i'm calling...but there's reasons behind that...for that you'll have to wait for the unedited version. btw...baggage or no baggage...melissa is hot. another btw...anyone can look attractive if they're wearing one of those alicia keys hats. i know only a few who can pull it off...alicia keys, nish-boogie, and maybe curvy french chicks (anyone remember deborah?)...girls at 5spot think they can wear those hats and be attractive and assholish but it doesn't work if you dance and look shitty.
sunday. i think the element that makes wawa sandwiches so good is the bread. bought two loaves, no more overpriced sandwiches for me. must finish a presentation and paper by this evening and also apologize to my professor for not making to the review session this past saturday. reason: refer to said drinking contest with a frenchman. risk might be on the menu as well...i don't care if i'm a n.e.r.d. because no one ever really dies.
Suck it in suck it in suck it in
If you're Rin Tin Tin or Anne Boleyn
Make a desperate move or else you'll win
And then begin
To see
What you're doing to me this MTV is not for free
It's so PC it's killing me
So desperately I sing to thee
Of love
Sure but also rage and hate and pain and fear of self
And I can't keep these feelings on the shelf
I've tried well no in fact I lied
Could be financial suicide but I've got too much pride inside
To hide or slide
I'll do as I'll decide and let it ride until I've died
And only then shall I abide this tide
Of catchy little tunes
Of hip three minute ditties
I wanna bust all your balloons
I wanna burn all of your cities
To the ground I've found
I will not mess around
Unless I play then hey
I will go on all day hear what I say
I have a prayer to pray
That's really all this was
And when I'm feeling stuck and need a buck
I don't rely on luck because...
The hook brings you back
-by BT
i'm hearing. the sounds of silence / hook / i'm a i'm a dirty dog
i'm seeing. the us soccer team lose
i'm thinking. i wrote a lot today.
sleeping is never overrated....don't let the masses tell you otherwise. they're just jealous.
i was looking forward to a bbq being held @eyehouse but it was shelfed due to the weather forecast. we place too much emphasis on weather...bbq in the rain could work...given determination and persistence. such slackers.
my friend ran into allen iverson yesterday @the park hyatt bellevue. that reminds me of my encounter with him about three years ago. it was pre-MVP, pre-scoring titles, pre-nba finals, and pre-public scrutiny. the guy was as ghetto fabulous as one could get. not to say that my status as a 'hood' officianado should influence this tale, but back to ai. the first thing he did was check out my friend, stare at her ass, laugh, say something i couldn't comprehend, and nod his head my way, you know, the proverbial "i'm rich, i play in the nba, and i can get anyone to sleep with me" kind of nod...after that, i strolled into a chauffeured (check spelling) bentley and drove away. fucking asshole. i'm so happy he plays in philly.
on the menu this evening. laundry / boredom / shifts in the rpo / catching the strokes on last call w/daly / maybe i'll shelf everything and get loaded at the new deck / that's unlikely though
with the help of senor durbin i enabled commenting on my blogger. to my expectation, not that many people have replied....i don't really care either way but i'd like insight about my insight.
smoking sucks..i'm officially quitting (tomorrow)
my forecast cloudy in the high 60s with no possibility of 'play' tonight.
music. threeeleven. big tymers. miles davis.
book. 'glamorama' by ellis. 'brave new world' by aldous huxley
mind. haven't seen ms. brazil in three days.
"welcome to the real world she said to me, condescendingly, take a seat, take your life, plot it out in black and white" -JM
voicing has become available. comment as you wish.
i hope this improves the communication between people checking out this journal.
in class now. i think i need a break from school and work. travel to somewhere like prague or bombay or rio de janeiro or seville for like two years. maybe later on in life. work is on the horizon for me. i don't necessarily see that as a bad thing. doing economics / game theory / portfolio analysis. not a horrible existence. it could be better (mtv vj) or worse (an unemployed vegas lounge act).
i heard this song by threeeleven called "amber". really chill. makes me think about some of the girls that used to be in my life and some girls in my life now. maybe i'm a fucking sap...but i really don't care. highly recommend downloading the song. uggh...can't get lorrie fair out of my mind. i mean she's not super famous but c'mon the girl is pretty amazing. it's like one of those things you wish you would have said something to someone a time long in the past (i sound like i'm writing a screenplay), but you didn't have the guts to...so you're left with a glass of rum and coke and an unfulfilled conversation / never again i say. carpe diem baby.
three weeks left in school...need to seize every moment. joyous / frustrating / or otherwise.
observing other students is funny..i wonder who's observing me?
iliketolistento. then the strokes. now 311 / diddy. future possibly norah jones
iliketoobserve. will being a good hunter. shakespeare's lovelife. the similarities between water and chocolate
iliketothink. how long before i shoot spiderwebs out of my wrists.
i apologize for those offended by my most recent post...eh...fuck off!
ok some let's recap some things. i am done with microeconomics (B average) / i take back some of the bad things about barnoir (after last nite) / spiderman was a great movie (tobey rules) / drinking on consecutive nights is very healthy.
last nite was pretty fun. at barnoir this thirtytwo yearold thought my friends and i were like 25-28 in age. i didn't want to diappoint her so i went along with her naive assumption. it was fun pretending to be something else for someone. my new something...well i told this ex-Sixers cheerleader that I was a racecar driver in france but my contract wasn't extended to this year. let me tell you the things people will believe. i also told her that formula one is looking to incorporate cheerleaders during races. i told her i'd put in a good word for her. impersonating a french accent isn't as hard as i thought.
i also saw some famous people at the spot. two to mention. jude law and lorrie fair. rather than talking about an actor who i really don't care to speak about let's talk about ms. fair. she is an amazing soccer player (womens world cup) and is incredibly attractive. i wanted to talk to ms. fair but i was sideswiped by a huge guy who plays for the philadelphia phillies. fucking athletes. let me get my roid shot and i can be big too. eh...i wouldn't have done anything with her anyways.
ok time for cavs...
twentyfourpissed. let's see. racecar drivers / fighting baseball players to get to a girl
wwwshouldread. http://thiesandrea.blogspot.com
maybelisteningto. n.e.r.d. / the strokes / travis / blur
maybereadingsome. articles in the wsj
maybethinkingthat. drinking in college is a necessity / brazilian girl is going to cavs or is she not?
monday knight | trying to stay busy but really there's nothing for me to do.
i think i'm going to hold off on going out the rest of the week (until thursday) / that's the only special i really like attending. today was pretty blurry. i take back what i said about sleeping that long. somehow it's fucking with my system right now. like i'm still in that sleep haze...it's that feeling you get when you wake up and rub your eyes and stagger out of your room...it's something like that but it's gone on for like 10 extra hours. very scary stuff.
going to get my graduation things tomorrow...forty four bucks...no dinner no awards just a cap and gown. fucking rip-off. i think my school really tries to shaft you till the end. oh well i'll deal with it
i fucking lost again in risk. i know i sound like a n.e.r.d. but i'm competitive and it can be fun to observe the shit people try to pull just to stay in the game.
girl K called but i didn't return the message. i know it's asshole-ish but hey i'm afforded that right once in awhile especially with the shit i've gone through. i like to pull trump cards when people least expect it. i like their resulting reactions...quite real...and quite funny. trumps should be used more often. i'm not that sinister am i?
calling it a night.
p
vingtquatre. people in general have been pissing me off
goto. http://www.ft.com
listento. blur / travis / pearl jam / wu-tang
reading. girls' minds
thinking. graduation is really close | now is the perfect time to have dinner
happy monday. forecast is rain with a high of 72 degrees.
i think this is the longest i have ever slept. i went to be at 1a and got up at 3p...i think that's 14 hours / terribly unhealthy but it felt really fucking good.
working in the rpo right now. downloading music is a wonderful thing.
i'll write more if there's more to say.
i'm listening to blur / travis / pearl jam / steve miller band
today my dad and i took my mom out to eat in chinatown...excellent food / i recommend the dim-sum @oceancityrestaurant. tres bien / this weekend was pretty fun. party on friday wasn't too excellent. a lot of drinking but a lot of guys. i caught up with said girl "K" very much later that night. nothing happened though...i am an example of chivalry in this day and age.
saturday i realized that i am a horrible volleyball player / whatever i'll kick anyone's ass at sony playstation / soccer (foosball) / and beer pong...i also realized that changing scenery doesn't always leave you with having a better time.
btw...we're in code red with said brazilian girl. i'll have to use my best tactics if i want this girl to notice me...not that i have any tactics to utilize. i am able to use the element of surprise very well.
listeningto. bonjovi / youssou n'dour f.neneh cherry / peter gabriel
readingthe. newest business week / trying to read women's minds
thinkingthat. no one can read women's minds / how does my cousin already have a dvd of starwars episode 2
yesterday's exam has left little for me to say. it, in every sense of the phrase, kicked my ass. it's done and that's all i need to say about that.
people are funny. i wonder if we're more funny when we try to be or when we do things that others find funny. it's funny when people call you out of the blue, especially the ones who call and pretend as if you talk everyday....well the reason i bring this up is that girl K called me and while i was a bit suprised, my reaction was pleasant. long story short...she's coming to visit me tonight (so she says) / although i did really like this girl since my 3rd year @university / i doubt we'll let anything happen stay tuned
tell me if this is fucked up. i get some satisfaction knowing that some of my counterparts, across the street at an over-priced university, have not found a job yet. mind you these are the same kids who gave me shit about not studying at W / i know it fucked up but hey i wish i weren't in there shoes...this only applies to those lucky (cough...wealthy) enough to study at said elitist / facist / brain-washing IV univ. go dragons!
twentyfour. late-night bickering / being dropped for laundry / driving down the 101 california here we come right back where we started from
look at. http://www.thestrokes.com
hearing. for some odd reason madonna / phantom planet
seeing. coffee hour / making a move on said friend whom i just heard from
thinking. the jedi thing must work tonight.
what a dreary thursday...i think i should never drink the day before an exam ever again...oh wait this is my last exam as an undergrad (strike this comment from the record)
i think i've said this before and i will say it again international girls are amazing...we'll just leave it at that. carnival anyone? oh yeah about said "girl", i did talk to her, and i did get a #.
so today i've got this mid-term, but it pretty much is the culmination of my studies here. after this, it's just presentations / papers / and things of the such. i obviously didn't study as much as i should but i've technically got sixhours until gametime. i don't think coach brown will mind if i skipped practice yesterday. "after all, i am the greatest player in the world" (ref: iverson / brown press conferences).
this week hasn't been as mind-draining as i thought it would be, then again, i'll refer to that after my exam.
have to study...
24. drinking until 3am and not having dinner before hand / missing the special at cavs / referencing pbs programmes when you're loaded
view. http://www.ihouse.org
wholenotes. sneaker pimps / the strokes / nelly furtado / ub40
plainview. lots and lots of econometrics
imagining. does the jedi thing really work?
what exactly does the term 'productive' mean? i got up at 12 / packed away my printer / watched fight club / sent out some letters-- i think that was a pretty 'productive' day. i was able to conjure up thoughts of mayhem and mischief...though neither of the two are really notions of productivity...i still think my day was more fruitful than 99% of the world / i feel like starting a fight and losing on purpose
so this week looks to be long and mind-draining, yet this week begins my final 'trek' through the waters called Drexel and this sailor is ready to set his feet on some dry land...can you smell the symbolism? two exams this week and then presentations for the following three weeks. next week i get my cap / gown / and announcements. very scary shit...on the rizzy for shizzy.
also this week another round of friends are leaving...this time instead of for kentucky in sunny's case...it's for germany. man european kids know how to let loose. no where else have i seen kids drink from eightpm till fouram and get up by 9 to take an exam. fucking crazy. i think i need to study abroad for b-school. well frank is off to germany this saturday and we're planning a soiree for the entire house. my friends and i have been known to cause trouble...but it's all in fun and for the benefit of some other sheltered kids. i used to be that way. nothing like apple martinis to lighten the mood. back to the point...i'm hoping i can visit my intl friends sometime in the future. make some dents in the rest of the world.
i'm giving this girl fifteen more minutes...i give everyone fifteen mintues
twelveplustwelve. people who front very well / losing at risk / unproductive people
browse. http://www.whitehouse.gov -everyone's got to laugh sometime.
retna. fight club - tyler durdin is right in a very fucked up way / homework / limewire
eardrum. ub40 / billy joel / john mayer / state property
medula. i hope this brazilian girl stops by the cafe soon...i gotta study / i hope said brazilian girl calls me tonight.
sunny left this morning...i really wanted to see her before she left today but my alarm didn't go off in time. if you're reading...sorry Sunny...i'll see you soon though.
after my review yesterday i played it low key the rest of the night. relaxed in the cafe / played jenga / caught up with some friends
i think i'm ready to start packing my things and get ready for my jet plane to leave eyehouse. kind of sad to leave but there's more out there for me to do. i wish i were taking a long holiday before working but no tengo dinero so working is my only option. in the next three months i've got to have money for an apartment (that i haven't found yet) / funiture for this undiscovered apartment / technology for this undiscovered apartment / and for the inevitable student loan payments
i know things could be worse so i will not even bitch about my situation / it seems unfair to do so anyways...somebody slap some sense into me. it's May, the sun is out, the flowers are blooming, and the world is on the brink of summer. can't wait. daylight until eightpm / seventy degrees by nineam..i know i'm a self-proclaimed fall-winter person but one has to appreciate what spring and summer bring.
ok enough rants for today....check in a few.
paul / paulrespicio@yahoo.com
twentyfour. studysession running over max time. friends leaving. lack of capital. people who can cry on cue.
yourbrowsershouldread. http://www.soyouwanna.com -tells you how to do everything you ever wanted to do
eyes. nba playoffs / mountain's worth of studying for this week / reading material for work (already)
ears. chris isaak / elton john / bob marley
brain. good luck to my family and friends taking (or finishing) finals this week / i should try and study tonight.
in the midst of a rigorous econometrics review - on a saturday no less..
the sixers lost / i finished salinger / took sunny out to newdeck for her last friday in philly / haven't eaten dinner in three days
rye was an excellent read. makes you think about what makes you tick and what makes you get up and what makes you happy. in the book holden struggles with what he's all about and in the end he makes some progress in finding that out. it made me think of what i'm about and what some others are about. i think what that exactly is continues to change with experiences...or lack of experiences.
i think the next read on my list will be kafka's "amerika". another revelation of personal struggle, growth and discovery....good will hunting was a great film.
vingtquatre: long study sessions on saturdays / missing a picnic and ample fun / 80s songs overkill
regarez: http://www.ikea.com
ecoute: elton john / the strokes / nelly furtado
vois: snl tonight / complicated equations / the wald test:indirectt-test:directt-test
pense: i hope this stuff sinks in by thursday night...hopefully earlier than that
met group @2 / worked in cafe / passed up chance to go out
sixers have tied the series 2-2...i hope they win on friday.
i was reading salinger this afternoon and i read something that struck me, so i think i'd like to journal it..."the mark of an immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of a mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one." serious shit right here. i won't get deep on this topic...don't think i'm able...i'm so tired right now. eyes begin to close.
this entry is short....so i'm sorry
twenty4: people who spill coffee / people who don't see guy ritchie movies when given the opportunity
youreyesshouldsee: http://www.amazon.com (people should spend more time reading books and less time reading what i bitch about)
ears: anything by moby / anything neptunes / anything al green
eyes: eightyfivepercent done salinger / must tackle some more kerouac or steinbeck or kafka or tolstoy
mind: i need a cold beverage....this italian girl knows how to dress.
